First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Italy has this tradition of putting out trashy comedic Christmas films every year right around … well … Christmastime. This specific genre of trashy comedic Italian Christmas films is called Cinema Panettone. It gets its name from the popular (and extremely traditional) sweet Italian Christmas bread called panettone, which is a specialty of Milan.
These Cinema Panettone films always have the same sort of protagonist: an old, sort of funny, kind of gross, perverted old man. This man always gets himself mixed up in some crazy hijinks that more-often-than-not come about because he is trying to catch the eye of the young, sexy, and usually foreign girl. Some typical gags that can usually be found in Cinema Panettone are:
- man almost kills himself on skis to impress hot blonde chick and finishes his downhill winter catastrophe completely naked because his clothes got caught on a tree on the way down … man’s balls are completely frozen
- man hides naked on icy 4th floor windowsill to escape angry muscular boyfriend of the American girl that he has been trying to sleep with … man falls and in one way or another hurts his balls in the process
- Man farts at restaurant with hot girl that would never actually be seen with him in real life … man tries to get up quickly to excuse himself only to find that his balls are somehow stuck to the tablecloth, thus overturning everything and spilling red wine all over the ample bosom of the girl
These films are usually panned by critics (and justifiably so) but tend to rake in the dough at the box office. Though shallow and predictable, these films can get a laugh out of me from time to time and they work as far as simple entertainment goes. Plus, it’s an Italian Christmas tradition, so count me in!
Here are some Cinema Panettone movie posters for you to enjoy. Consider it my Christmas gift to you. You’re welcome!